An older Millennial trying to embrace what makes her generation special.

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Early Blog Days Ramblings

Eventually, my update schedule will be non-existent, the reason behind which will be revealed very soon. But in the early days, I want my blog to have entries so if people stumble upon it, they'll have things to read. I mean, yes, most of my blog entries should probably stick to the central theme of embracing ones Millennialness and exploring what that means, but I want to talk about my last failed blog.

I've been trying to make blogs happen since I got an invite to LiveJournal in 2002. Okay, I guess this can still be about how I'm a proud Millennial, just in a different way. Blogging was a lot easier in 2002. MySpace wasn't a thing yet, and Facebook was even further off. Friends talked to friends through their blog entries on LiveJournal. I also used to make a lot of fansites on Geocities back when fanbases were kind of small. It was so easy to felt heard back then.

But then social media happened, the Internet got bigger, and I felt invisible. But I really have always enjoyed blogging - it's writing, and I love to write. I wrote for my school newspaper in middle school, and I wrote for the student run television news program we had in high school, so even without the Internet, I would want to be heard. But my last failed blog failed because I had completely lost my voice.

I wanted to be heard so badly that I had decided to cultivate a lifestyle around lazy. I dropped it because I forgot to hit publish on one of my entries and then I didn't want to have to explain anything so I just walked away. But then I went back to the same blog to try to bring it back, only to make the same mistake a second time.

But I wasn't really invested in that blog. Yes, I would love to cultivate a lifestyle, and yes, I'm pretty efficient at being lazy. But I was trying to force a thing to happen and I lost track of who I was. The reason it was so hard to keep the blog up after a silly mistake is because I lost the momentum of lying to myself. I last updated my LiveJournal in 2013. I'm not afraid to commit to things long past their prime. But the difference there is that my LiveJournal was all about who I really was as a person.

This entry has no pictures and I feel like I'm taking a pretty long time to wrap things up, so let's throw in some They Might Be Giants to take us home:

Before I started this blog, I sat down to figure out what I wanted, what I hoped to accomplish, and what reality might look like.

I know nobody is reading this, but would be so happy if somebody was. What I want is an outlet to express myself, as long as myself is really me. I do want to cultivate a lifestyle, but one generally has a life when they do that. I'm working on it. What I hope to accomplish is getting those who were so quick to embrace being a Xennial to realize why their own generation is great and they should be proud to be a part of it. And reality is, I might not update all the time. That's okay. As long as I'm having fun and being true to myself, I don't really care about what the algorithm likes or if people actually manage to find this blog ever. Again, I would be happy if they did and I will mostly write entries as if you're already here. But it's very hard to find success, no matter what your definition of success is, if you hate what you're doing.

I just want to follow my bliss.


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