An older Millennial trying to embrace what makes her generation special.

Saturday, November 17, 2018

Let's Talk About Monopoly for Millennials

I was going to talk about She-Ra on Netflix today, as I grew up with the original and the first argument I ever remember getting into with my youngest brother was who was better, He-Man or She-Ra. My mom ended that argument by saying they were twins and they were equal. This is the most 80s intro I could come up with for this entry.

But then I didn't feel like watching it, and I went out bowling and drinking anyway, so... I decided to talk about Monopoly for Millennials - which I absolutely would not be talking about if I had watched She-Ra and hadn't gotten drunk, so this is one of the most important alterations to human history ever.

Full disclosure: I am probably going to buy this game.

But Millennials are triggered by Monopoly for Millennials. I get it. The game is definitely making fun, and we're a generation that's already the butt of every joke. It also doesn't help that Hasbro released a weirdly tone-deaf statement. Maybe if people are mad about your game that's making fun, maybe don't make jokes about their side hustle. There's also the fact most Millennials try so very hard to not be associated with Millennials, and recognizing themselves in this game could be emotionally devastating.

However, I love perfect disasters. They give me joy down in my heart. And this game is so ridiculous that there is no way it can be anything other than perfect.

How do you decide who goes first? Who has the most debt. Which by the way, me. Everyday, me. Not satisfied with just having student loan debt, I also bought a new car two years ago that cost half as much as college did. The payments on the car are way better, though.

What fun properties are there? None! Millennials can't afford real estate, silly. Which, you know what? I could totally afford some real estate if I hadn't gone to college, so... I blame Big College. Why aren't there more conspiracies about Big College?

What are the game pieces? A hashtag and an emoji. I just... I can't. It's all too ridiculous!

And I'm not the only Millennial who gets the joke. For just as many Millennials who don't appreciate getting made fun of, which I get, there's just as many that wish the jokes had gone further. And I get that, too.

You can't please everybody. That's fine. At the end of the day, it's just a game.

But why did their statement have to make fun of people's side hustles? Not cool.


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